Audioholic Media

Driving faster in my car…

I have been waiting for the right moment to talk about this song. I have come to the conclusion that there isn’t one. Stone Temple Pilots- “Big Empty”. It has been my favorite song since the moment I heard it- when I was nine. It happens to be on the soundtrack for the movie, The Crow (one of my favorite movies ever) and the soundtrack is amazing- Nine Inch Nails’ cover of “Lost Souls”… but I digress. It’s also found on the album, Purple, widely accepted as the best offering STP has ever come out with.

This song means things to me that words simply don’t describe. Not only has it remained my favorite song for, oh, going on 16 years now… but it also seems to pop up at the most opportune times. Days when I especially need to hear it, need to be reminded of who I am, moments when it seems like I am just utterly down and out- it seems to just come on the radio or on my iPod or somehow wind its way back into the fabric of my life. Sustaining me, filling up my soul with sheer joy. I’m not even exaggerating. This song is pure magic for me, from the first opening bars until the last strains of it are silenced.

How do you describe your favorite song? The lyrics are just enough. Uncomplicated, unable to stand on their own, but fitting into the music perfectly. It’s some combination of Dean DeLeo’s slide guitar and Scott Weiland’s voice that really does it to me. All the building and falling, the palpable tension, and the sheer sexiness of it all. I cried, literally cried, when they played this when I saw them live (Hard Rock Live- Orlando- Fall 2002). I hear it and I just stand still and stop breathing for a second or two, taking it all in. I’m sure it’s amusing for other people to watch. (It came on when I was playing pool one night and I stopped mid-conversation with my date, utterly fixated.)

It’s a feeling that can’t be transferred, apparently. I’ve made countless people listen to it, in the hopes that they would not only understand me better, or feel the things I do when I hear it- but that they would be able to have that feeling too. Pure adrenaline wrapped up in a valium. The experience from this song is unique only to me it seems. Unfortunately or not- it isn’t something that I have been able to share- mostly due to my own inadequacies in expressing it. And possibly because it’s too much pressure. You tell someone how this song is your touchstone and your soul and they listen to it and don’t hear it all? Utter disappointment. Thus, I’ve stopped sharing.

And, at the end of the day, I don’t want to. I mean, I’d love to share it, but I don’t want to try to express it. I think finding an adequate way to put it into words, encompassing the sheer intensity of this song for me, would take a bit of the shine off. Though, if you’ve ever seen a shirtless, boa-clad, Scott Weiland singing this in between drags of a cigarette from six feet away you might get a small glimpse of what I’m talking about.

Too much trippin’ and my soul’s worn thin.